LeBron James Has No Regard for Human Life!

I've always been a decent leaper. I'm tall, but nobody's idea of a basketball player, and since around the age of 16 I've been able to touch the rim of a basketball hoop. People (fogeys, mostly) talk about how ugly and sloppy basketball has become because everybody just wants to dunk. Shaq isn't in the conversation with Wilt because all Shaq does is dunk. Earl Monroe could shoot, Kobe just dunks. Candace Parker is ruining the game. I can understand that line of thinking I suppose. A jump shot seems to be more of a rigorous skill in a game where everybody can throw down but the athleticism and power of a quality dunk is something great in and of itself. I know why they do it too. Obviously, first and foremost its a high percentage shot, but there's a better reason. It's fucking fun. Trust me. I spent an afternoon dunking a tennis ball a few summers ago. A tennis ball. By myself. With no defense. And I had a blast. Imagine posterizing some dude in front of 40 thousand. When LeBron James punctuated last night's 88-77 win over Boston with a "I'm a man! I'm forty!" slam on Kevin Garnett, I lept out of my seat. That was a man's dunk. Jump shots are great. Jump shots can be daggers, in fact James and Daniel Gibson had connected on two of them just moments before but nothing can touch the devastation of a dunk like that. That kind of dunk is aggressive, abusive, it says "I took this ball and I did this TO YOU and as long as I do this, you wont beat me." A dunk like that makes an announcer like Kevin Harlan compare James to some sort of genocidal serial killer ("LeBron James with no regard for human life!"). I've turned this phrase over many times in my mind and I've tried to decipher what Harlan intended to say. ...with no regard for his own safety, ...with no regard for the Boston Celtics. But after a dunk like that perhaps he meant exactly what he said. That kind of dunk does, in fact, say "I cannot be bothered with the situation in China and Myanmar, I've just dunked on you, chump. Who cares if you live or die!" He's already been known to ravage white women while dribbling, he clearly has no time or conscious for the lives of others. Good stuff. And better stuff is that the series is now tied going back to Boston. Make no mistake however, James is off, and horribly off. Even with his power slam he had a below average night and if the Cavaliers are going to be successful, he's going to have to find his shot. AND continue to get the great production they have had off their bench. AND keep LeBron's mom under control. Those are tall orders but this is a series and that's exciting.

In fact, the NBA has 3 series all tied up each with their own intriguing story lines. Has New Orleans' carriage turned into pumpkin? Have the shifty Spurs made the adjustments and figured the Hornets out? Or is it just another case of the road woes that all these playoff teams have experienced? I'll take a little of all three. The Hornets, who seem to be more talented than San Antonio, couldn't overcome that nasty playoff experience gap on the road and ran into a Spurs team that has just spent the last 9 years finding ways to win playoff basketball games. New Orleans and its home court advantage are the favorite in this series but the scrappy Spurs know how to win on the road against good teams and it would do the Hornets well to learn that as well, and fast.

Things have tensed up in Tinseltown to the tune of Kobe's back. 5 days ago, the Lakers couldn't lose and the buzz around Hollywood was a minimum 8-peat. Now, there's some worried Angelinos. And I'm not really sure what to make of it. Utah has looked night and day on the road versus at home. If they bring some of that stuff from Salt Lake City to the Staple Center and if Kobe continues his "I'm coming Elizabeth, this is the big one!" routine things could get real interesting. I expect the Lakers to come out of this series but the team's poor performance in the last 2 games, especially from point guard Jordan Farmar, has to return to the form it was for the first two games.

In the OTHER playoffs, the NHL is selling tickets on the Detroit/Pittsburgh train, and for the record, I'm getting on it. Dallas and Philadelphia still have something to say about all this but a Red Wings-Penguins Stanley Cup Final is the best thing for hockey. Old School versus New Jacks. Vets versus rooks. Toothless For a Long Time versus Newly Toothless. This series would be some sort of hair pulling, shin kicking bitch fight between Bette Davis and Lindsey Lohan and it would be awesome. Make this happen, Chris Chelios. Get this done, Sergei Gonchar.

Also, congratulations are in order to Christian Laettner, the newest member of the Polish American Sports Hall of Fame. I'm sorry to admit but I hadn't the slightest idea that Laettner was even Polish (that's such a WASPy name, isn't it? I had no clue). Laettner was a great college player and once made Thomas Hill cry on television. After a lenghthy, if not exciting NBA career, Laettner has made a name for himself looking like Kurt Russell in "Escape from L.A." on FSN specials about his shot against Kentucky in 1992. My discovery of his Polishness, however, does not change my ranking of the 10 Greatest Polish American Athletes. But congrats anyway, Christian, Sto Lat. With Leather has a pretty funny write-up about it, complete with jokes about how stupid we are all.

Lastly, this has been ongoing and I should have steered you here earlier but sportsonmymind has a terrific piece on Cedric Benson and his arrest for being on a boat with white women. This story and case is terrible and sadly not uncommon and the outrage should be palpatable and loud, instead of non-existant, which it is. As always, nice work DWil.